Tiny lessons in managing a sun-moon opposition
When the sun and the moon oppose one another in a chart, you have tension between what makes you happy and calm (your moon) and what makes you feel sane (your sun). You’d think happy and calm and sane would go together, right? But no, not necessarily.
My kid has a Libra sun opposing an Aries moon, and we can feel that tension all. the. time.
Aries moon can play out like hair-on-fire, while Libra sun seeks connection and calm. She lives both – sometimes toggling between them, sometimes both at once. Sometimes every single thing is OMGGGGGGGGGGGG (Aries moon)…meanwhile, she is urgently seeking co-regulation from us (Libra sun), while scanning our emotions frantically (thanks, squaring Pluto), like “Are you okay? Am I okay? Are we okay? IS EVERYTHING OKAY?” Yes, yes.
But verbal reassurances only get her so far. She needs to learn how to work that Libra sun – how to find her own balance, because sometimes your co-regulators get tired and less effective when you are repeatedly crash-landing in their arms with your hair on fire (metaphorically – I do not allow my kid to set herself on fire).
Ideally, she will learn how to work that Libra sun and that Aries moon simultaneously, in positive ways rather than, erm, what she’s doing now.
It's a big task for a little kid. We’re easing into it.
I found this toy, which is like a tree or a cactus that you build, piece by piece. The base is narrow, so the pieces must balance each other as you add them, or the whole thing will tip over and crash. She’s had stacking toys before, but she hasn’t really had to think so strategically about “if I do this, then this thing I’m working on will fail to balance, and it will crash.” The possibility of a crash is a potential stressor – she doesn’t tolerate sudden loud noises well. Knowing that the crash could come and proceeding anyway gives her a chance to work the Aries moon in a positive way, using the internal crackle of the risk as a motivator to focus and not screw up. Balancing stuff is an almost-comically-literal Libra task, Libra being represented by scales. She has to manage both at once. If one of us joins her in building, she’s managing both at once in the context of partnership.
Watching her brain gears turn and knowing that she’s working on a key life lesson, even in a small way, is so damn rewarding. Even better, there is more than one way to achieve balance. There are all different ways you can put this thing together, and all of them will look neat (aesthetically pleasing! Yay Libra sun!), and many of them will balance, and if you’re out of balance, gravity will let you know.
It is one tentative step in a lifelong journey to balance an opposing sun and moon.
